By Umer Raza Bhutta
There is a lot of material available through the contemporary thinkers about the fact that Humans are different. Perhaps we knew this stuff. However, it is not the matter of knowing it or not knowing it, but the intriguing part is to appreciate it. We tend not to appreciate this difference amongst ourselves. There can be many reasons for this lack of appreciative tendency. One can be the urge to bring others to your point of thinking and winning over an argument, another reason can be to satisfy one’s own selfish ego. Both are somehow correct, under the current scheme of things. We need not go far but look at our own self and the people very near to us. Our spouse can be a case in point here, and what a relevant case in point it can be. Two people sharing a lot with each other (or sometimes HAVE to share a lot) and yet sometime irritating moments creep in. Few of you might be thinking, it is not sometimes but most of the times I get irritated. Anyways, whatever the frequency of irritation, yet we understand that we get irritated by certain types of behaviors of our partner.
Such things happen because we want others to see things from our perspective. We are more concerned as to what we are saying and leave the other part as to what other’s are saying. This can be classified as the lack of communication. Once we increase the level of communication and not only talk but also listen, there are chances that we may improve the level of understanding. We are taught to communicate since our days in kindergarten. Our parents get worried if we do not speak properly, and hence they ask us to….. speak more, be confident, do not be shy and talk talk talk. Unfortunately we are not taught to listen, we are only being FORCED to listen. According to a research following are the four basics of communication and with each we see their relevant percentage of usage, learning and being taught or not.
|Importance given in Learning||4th||3rd||2nd||1st|
|Used in our daily life||Most -45%||30%||16%||9%|
|Taught at any level||Least||Average||To many||To Most|
If this is the case then there are clear indications that why misunderstandings happen. These misunderstandings take us towards the realm of neglect, self pity, creations of hatred and above all the irritation. These misunderstandings are a result of lack of understanding the differences of our thinking patterns and preferences. Below let me present a table that shows the preference of a left brain thinker and a right brain thinker. These are just the preferences and may or may not be labeled to anyone around you. However, when we say these are preferences, it means that given a chance a person who is a left brain thinker will choose in the direction given below.
*Source: The book “CQ – Boost your creative intelligence by Harry Alder
You may fit yourself in any of these left or right side areas. However, looking at these areas one can evaluate why one is following certain preference if at all one is following. After going through these you can question yourself, as when someone irritates you, it may have done so without any intentions for such a course. He/she does so, or follows a set of thinking or action because it is his/her preference of thinking or taking any action in that way. Your partner, colleagues, subordinate, supervisor, relative may only be following the wimps of his/her brain waves and may not necessarily be aware of what damage he/she might have caused to you. However, knowing the preferences above, might certainly give both the parties (or at least the one who read these) the opportunity to appreciate the fact of difference, and from where and how this difference is coming from.