Simple and Easy
By Umer Raza
In current times there are a lot of distractions all over. These distractions, distract us in our daily routine and we hardly can focus on tasks at hand with complete attention. Phone wrings, whatsapp beeps, face book updates, tweets, emails, television and what not. These are just few examples of the distractions commonly known today. There are also physical distractions around us such as sounds, anyone bumping into our home or office without informing, boss called you up for meeting when you were in the middle of making a report etc.
These distractions are obviously destructive for us, as they take our attention away from what is important and necessary for us at that moment. An important casualty of these distractions is our children and spouses. When we focus on these distractions we tend not to focus on our children and that for time seems fine and we look busy, but it creates a dent into the image of the child for you.
While we most certainly give value to our children and love to have them around and play with them, these distractions take us away from our children. If not physically we become mentally disengaged with them. This means that even when we are with our children, our mind is not with them and is thinking of our pending tasks in office, or watching a TV show, or handling a phone call, while being around our children. This is in fact the most dangerous form of distraction and neglect as it does not harm us now, but may do so in future.
Let us see some useful ideas where busy people can use, whatever time they have, productively and to their (children) benefits.
- Hug and kiss children on reaching home: Usually Males in Pakistan who are working in office jobs, finish off their office around 6pm. Children are already home and they might be waiting for the papa to come. When you reach home, after the initial greetings while entry, run towards your children and they would reciprocate. Call out their names and hug them tightly. Hugging is an important mechanism to creating a bond with the child.
A mother when hugs her newborn, the child feels not only love but also shows the confidence and trust in the mother. The child only feels the warmth of the mother’s body and hands. This warmth is contagious and travels to other’s body. When you hug your children you transform your confidence and trust into your children. They will reflect this confidence later in their lives.
- Put your mobile on Charging: You have spent the whole day with your mobile and calls. You might still be at work mentally and my be expecting some calls. However, now to show your children that this is their time you may put your mobile on charging so that your children might get your undivided attention and get the idea that your are for them now.
Your calls can still come and you may answer these later. Mind you even if it is your boss calling, you may return his call later (but do remember to return the call). Boss also understands that this is your private time and you might be busy with family. If your boss does not understand this, you better look for another boss.
- Watch TV only to get information for your children: Although switching off the TV is the best idea, but since we all have got a TV (rather more than one), we have an urge to switch it on and see what our talk shows have to say. If at all you cannot live without it, make it a learning activity with your children and all of you together should watch some interesting movie or documentary. Watch all these things together with children as they will develop images in their minds and these images will be strong enough to live with them all of their lives. Give them some good images through your own presence and commentary over the movie or the program you are watching.
- Spend Some time playing/running/pillow fighting with children: Children love parents running or playing with them. Spend some time daily to play some exhaustive game with them. If you have place outside home, go out. Or if you do not have any place nearby or time is not appropriate to go out, use your bed mattresses and pillows for exhausting yourself and children. You can run within your house with children (take permission from your wife though and do not break anything). Play hide and seek, play tying the legs with a scarf, give them some tasks to complete with pillows, cushions or bed sheets etc. These are small games that will boost up your energy, these will also let your children look for the time when you come home and play with them, these will also build very strong memories of children with you and the time they have spent with you.
Remember this time will pass away quickly. By the time your children are above 12 or 13 years of age, they (you) will not remain fit to run and play with you (them). After this age you will be asking for their company and they will not be able to spare time for you. So use this time when your children are below ten productively and effectively.